March 30, 2014

A Single Mom's Open Letter to the Men Who Hate Us

Dear "Freelance Writer" attempting to give dating advice to men,

I recently read your article and immediately responded with an anger filled retaliation. So let me try again...I actually thoroughly enjoyed reading what you had to say since it gave me such real insight into what a mans (especially one who seems to know it all) viewpoint is on ladies like myself. How silly of me.

You start by saying how we're stuck in 18+ years of Hell but I beg to differ. I don't know if I would exactly categorize "having a child" as being hellish. I mean yes there are days when you may run into temper tantrums and messes but the cuddles, the never-ending love, the bedtime stories, the innocent smile they give you as they wrap their tiny arms around your neck makes it all worthwhile.

You're right my child is my top priority. If I happen to meet the right guy I will place him pretty high up there on my priority list (possibly even before a clogged toilet) but he will never surpass my offspring. A mothers love for her child is strong but it doesn't mean her heart can't hold enough love for a man too. Have you ever been married?? Because I think that tends to be the same situation after a married couple has kids which is why "date nights" usually diminish to far and few between.

Never Available. Okay so we're busy but again for the right guy we can make time. Plus, I guess a clingy overly-available chick who has no life sounds much more appealing. Wait is that her calling your cell again today for the 10th time in a row?!

The Ex/Baby Daddy is always there. Wow you really do know what you're talking about. It obviously took two of us to make her so I do still have to deal with him sometimes. Luckily he has his own life, own girlfriend and even though it's a work in progress we're working on the co-parenting thing. It's not the ideal situation but I want someone who can accept that. I'm not the jealous type so I don't expect you to be either. And we're not together anymore for a reason so there's nothing to be jealous of anyway.

The Kids are working against you. For now I've kept my dating life and my life as a mom completely separate. I've dated a few guys and not one of them have met my daughter. I have yet to introduce anyone to her not only because I haven't made it past the two month mark but I want to wait until I'm absolutely certain it's going to be long term.

Entitled Attitude. You said, "Single mothers think because she had a baby out of wedlock the world owes her EVERYTHING." I only work a mere 35 hours a week as an occupational therapy assistant before that I was working 45 so that I could start saving some money for grad school. Oh and I also work part-time doing freelance writing, sponsored ad reviews on my blog, and I write for Mommy Poppins Connecticut. I don't collect welfare, food stamps, WIC or any other government assistance. I don't take handouts and I pride myself in being an independent woman who can support and take care of myself. But you better be damn ready to treat me like a Queen...because I'm ready to treat you like a King. But when I say that I don't mean I want you to take me to the finest restaurants and buy me and my daughter expensive things. No I just want you to be here for me. I want your loyalty. I want you to ask me how my day was. I want you to bring me orange juice when I'm sick or rub my back after a long week. I want to cook dinner together or put on a pretty dress and go dancing. I'm a hopeless romantic and am willing to give that much back to you. I just want the same things those single ladies without kids want....but who am I kidding I popped out a kid so according to you I don't deserve any of that.

Distorted Self Image. "Single mothers are the type to try to squeeze themselves into sexy outfits like low-rise jeans and cropped T-shirts to show off their belly button, not seeing the muffin top and stretch marks squeezing out over the top of their pants." Damn I hate when my muffin top hangs out. What a waste of a gym membership. P.S.- Single ladies when you're pregnant cocoa butter works wonders.

Drama Queen. Oh yes I love drama. Thrive on it. I actually stay at home watching soap operas and taking notes of how to create it and then I magically find time between dropping my daughter off at school, cooking dinner, dance classes and cleaning to act out these fun sounding "woe is me" theatrical scenes you speak of.

Ya' know I try my best and its a shame because she really does look so unhappy.

I mean she's growing up this sad deprived life and not having both parents is all that matters right? Who cares that I tuck her in every night and we've never missed a story, she has healthy home cooked meals on the table, she's such an incredibly smart girl because I put in the time and effort, we play dolls together, I teach her the importance of manners and kindness. None of that matters since I'm just a single mom. She could have parents who are still together like this couple here....that ratchet mama still wit her baby daddy so its alllll good right, G?

When I was 21 I remember thinking, "I would never date a guy that has kids." I was young, immature and my main priority was going out. Settling down was not even a consideration. I dated "boys" who also were in a similar mindset. The thought of dating a single parent was not an option and why should it be? Their lifestyle is not compatible with the bar scene. But as you age and mature your life changes. And as a "boy" grows into a "real man" his views begin to change as well....and a classy, hardworking single mom might not be such a bad thing.

Your truly,
Single Mom

March 29, 2014

Win Lift Tickets to the Killington Resort!

Even though spring is here it doesn't mean that the winter sports have to end. There's still some time left this season to head up north and get some fun in. Enter now to win a family four pack of lift tickets to Killington Resort in Vermont! There’s something for everyone – kid-friendly scavenger hunts, educational adventures, and ski competitions – plus, this year Killington is proud to introduce the all-new, sustainably-designed Peak Lodge at 4,100 feet, with delicious upscale restaurant fare and panoramic views of the Green, White, and Adirondack Mountains!

Lift tickets expire on 5/31, but please be advised that winter sports activity slows by mid-April as the weather changes. Usually the terrain at the end of April is best suited for expert skiers or boarders, though the resort and lifts will still be open into May for other activities – like dining, shopping, excellent views of the area, etc.

This giveaway is open to U.S entries only please. To enter simply leave a comment below with your email address.

For an extra entry tweet about this giveaway using hashtag #killington14 and leave the link to the tweet in a comment.

Good luck!!

Giveaway ends Friday April 4 at midnight. Winner will be chosen via and will have 24 hours to respond before a new winner is chosen. 

March 27, 2014

My response to the Bigot

I recently read a blog article that an angry bitter man wrote called "Why Real Men Don't Date Single Moms". It was the most ridiculous and absurd thing I have ever read in my life. He's a lonely unemployed man living in some slum neighborhood in the Bronx. He probably had a few bad experiences with some single moms out there and don't get me wrong there are some that are an exact depiction of what he describes (Probably a lot where he's from in the ghetto). But there are also many who are not. His distorted description of single mothers is that we're all manipulative, drama queens with an entitled attitude. That we're just looking for a man to be a surrogate father to our child and use them to help pay our way.

For many single mothers that is not the case AT ALL. To be honest it surprises me that such a bigoted, narrow minded viewpoint would even come from a black man. How many times do people make racist remarks and classify black men into a category of lazy, don't want to work, doing nothing and just living off the government, in gangs, hoodlums or in jail. It's a racist stereotype but it's the same exact thing that he's doing. There are so many single mothers out there, myself included, that work hard without handouts from the government and don't need a man to support us financially. We're strong independent women who can take care of ourselves and are only looking for a man to fall in love with just like any other single woman, whether she has a child or not.

There are many reasons why a person may be a single mother...her ex could have been abusive, maybe they grew part, maybe he cheated on her, whatever the circumstance it's better for a child to grow up in a home with a happy mother than one where they only hear fighting or witness a lack of love. Just because a woman has kids does not mean she's on welfare, is a gold digging whore, or is looking for a man solely for the purpose of him to become a stepdad. This man clearly had a bad experience and is now holding a grudge with his ignorant views.

March 20, 2014

Theme Song Thursday

Make me your one and only but don't make me your enemy.