January 11, 2015

Dream a little dream of me

"Stars shining bright above you, Night breezes seem to whisper I love you, Birds singing in the sycamore tree, Dream a little dream of me"

Sometimes you just have to escape from reality...and that's okay as long as you know that it's not a one way ticket and you have to return from this paradise.

 I'm a hopeless romantic with a wild imagination and a sucker for a good love story. I love fairy tales and happy endings. I know my story hasn't ended yet....I'm still waiting to find my Prince Charming. But sometimes when something happens to you that is just so far fetched, so unbelievable...you just have to pretend and enjoy it for the brief moment that it might last.

I began an "interaction" with someone who was so unobtainable and out of my league that it was surreal that it was actually even happening. But I allowed myself to continue with it and even develop crazy fantasies with a slight hope that they could come true. I compared myself to Ana being whisked away in this extravagant lifestyle that Christian Grey gave her or that bartender who married Matt Damon. I imagined myself falling in love with him and starting this amazing new life together. I knew it was impossible but a part of me hoped that there was a tiny chance that all my dreams could come true. I mean after the bad luck with dating I've had lately why not be my turn to fall in love...even if it was with a "Mr. Grey". Why didn't I deserve to be the Cinderella? After spending this amazing night with him where I felt like a Princess and got a glimpse into that life, it was so hard to look back. But I knew deep down that it was only my imagination getting the best of me and I just needed a wise dose of reality. He was wrong for me for so many reasons and not just because of who he was but also because he was 6 years my junior, was too far away and lived a lifestyle that I just couldn't compete with.

I knew all this but continued with it anyway. Because sometimes it's fun to play pretend and dream....I just need to remember when to wake up.

January 08, 2015

Theme Song Thursday

I just want to find someone that I can slow dance to Dean Martin with. I'm a sucker for old Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra songs

January 02, 2015

2015 and self growth

2014 was a really rough year for me for many reasons that I won't go into detail about but let's just say I hit rock bottom. It was even a worse year then when I split from the ex and moved back to CT so that's showing you some of the stuff I went through was pretty bad. I made a lot of mistakes that I'm not proud of but I'm going to move on and learn from them. I'm looking forward to 2015 and making better choices.  I'm leaving behind all the negativity in 2014 along with all those bad memories. It's a new year and a new chapter. I'm the writer of this book and I'm going to fill the pages with a much better story.

So with that being said moving on to the new year I'm not going to make any "resolutions", I'm just going to make it my lifestyle. This year I just want to stay positive, be thankful for what I have, be more open-minded, and make better choices!

November 10, 2014

Single Mom Games

Title: The Bouncing Babysitter

Object: Finding someone to watch my daughter so that I can accomplish day to day activities using the small support system I have without having to pay a babysitter with the lack of money I don't have.

Description: I am a single mom who has full custody with an ex who comes for visitations (very) sporadically. Which means I don't get much free time. So I rely on my support system to help but I feel guilty always asking them to babysit for me when I'm unable to always give them anything in return monetarily. So maybe it's just me, maybe I'm crazy but I have this system in my head where I try not to over use the same person.

For example, I might have say six things going on this month:

1. Emma has a half day and I still have to work
2. I have an engagement party
3. I'm going to a Zumba class
4. Emma's school has another damn professional development day
5. It's my friends birthday so we're going for dinner and drinks
6. I have a mandatory staff meeting after work so I need someone to pick Emma up from school

My support system consists of about four people that I can usually call upon and I hate asking them/over-using them so I usually work it out like a game. Okay person 1 is doing the engagement party so I'll ask person 2 to pick her up from school, so on and so forth. Then I continue to rotate.

Maybe I'm just a little crazy....