Overwhelmed

I recently read a blog post that really hit home for me. As I read the words in the post each one spoke directly to me. I related to the writer and knew exactly how she felt. I'm often preaching about how important it is to set aside time for ourselves and expecially as single moms who do it all we need "me time" to recollect and rejuvenate.

But it's easier said than done.

I found myself saying it but not actually doing it. What happens when that option is just not always a possibility? What happens when you're the only parent involved in your child's life and after paying for childcare while you work a job all week that barely pays for the daycare in the first place you can't really afford to pay a sitter so you can spend time to yourself?!

I have trouble reaching out to people so instead I do it all alone 24/7 with no breaks, no help, no partner, no emotional comfort. And while yes I understand this is my own situation so I need to put on my big girl panties and just deal with it...it's hard. I often find myself reaching the brink of my own sanity and stressed out*. I sometimes find myself escaping to the bathroom and sitting on the cold floor so I can get just a moment of quiet time spent alone. I occassionally** find myself at the end of the night drinking a couple glasses** of wine or cocktails to unwind from the day. Sometimes I feel resentful towards him. Sometimes I feel jealous of those who do have that great helpful spouse or tons of help from family. I love my daughter more than anything I really do...but seriously sometimes I just need a break. A break from work, stress, school, worrying, cleaning and everything else.

But in the end whatever doesn't bring me down will only make me stronger.

*Even sometimes wondering why I ever quit smoking cigarettes?!

**okay who am I kidding I meant daily

**glasses?! I meant a bottle