December 25, 2012

Christmas Eve

Tonight I play Santa as I wrap the last few presents while drinking tea and listening to the soft music playing in the background. All components that would make up an otherwise perfect evening yet I feel as though something is missing. The quiet loneliness pegs at me as I long for the comfort of someone to be sharing this all with. Someone to help me hide the gifts under the tree, someone to share the night with long after the little one's tucked away asleep awaiting the arrival of Christmas morning, someone to share the holidays with.

I hide behind claims that I am strong and am thriving in my single mom status. And don't get me wrong...for the most part I definitely am. I have come a long way and am happy. Day to day I am enjoying life, I am thankful for what I DO have, I'm appreciative and know that I am lucky. But on nights like tonight...it's just a little bit more difficult. That and listening to a playlist that consists of the following songs probably does not help....


Yes I know I do it to myself. I realize this. But what can I say?! I'm just a girl. A dramatic, overly emotional, romantic girl. A girl who is looking for love. And not just any love. Real love. Ridiculous, consuming, head over heels, heart throbbing, can't-live-without-each-other love. (Can you tell I'm a Sex and the City fan?) Please Santa I think I've been a good girl can you just bring me that this Christmas??!

1 comments:

  1. I don't think you're ridiculous at all! It's been five years since my divorce and Christmas still gets me. I'm grateful, yes, but I still miss having someone to share the kid part of Christmas with. Plus, I've noticed this year there is no escaping the idea that Christmas is about romantic love. All the commercials and movies are about finding love, and being in love. Sheesh, what's a single mom to do?

    You're still strong, you're still amazing. Christmas is just such a reminder that life is different now. Ease up on yourself girl, Santa will send you somethin' soon.

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